What I have learned as a trauma survivor on vacation Growing up with developmental trauma I enjoyed the idea of traveling more than traveling itself.  Travel brings transitions, unpredictability, and unknowns, and each of those brings its own additional burden to an emotional system that is for trauma survivors already overloaded.  No matter how perfect the vacation  - and few come even close - the presence of those three factors together is certain to stir discomfort. I wrot

Here are six ideas to manage routines in the school year. We are creatures of habit and everyone struggles with transitions to a certain degree. But children, tweens, and teens who have been exposed to adverse childhood experiences (ACE), developmental delays, learning difficulties, as well as emotionally sensitive children, in general, are especially vulnerable in transitions. In this post, I refer to such children as “sensitive.” Biologically, our body and nervous system ar

Some children and teens are needlessly told that something is wrong with them while they actually suffer from an underlying infection.

Secure attunement framework for adult survivors of developmental trauma. After my two blog posts on Developmental Trauma (blog 1, post 2), many trauma survivors and therapists sent questions on how to apply the secure attunement framework with adults who are survivors of developmental trauma. So here’s a framework — I call it Secure Attunement Expressive Trauma Integration — that I use in working with adults who experienced developmental trauma as young children. What is dev

Mental Health Response Sometimes Make Things Worse. Time for a Paradigm Shift Like others, I read social media posts, magazines, and websites on trauma, personal growth, self-care and more. From all sides I am bombarded with  techniques and tools on how to be happy, feel good, fulfil my potential, become resilient (see blog) and successful and more. Truthfully, rather than being inspired and uplifted, I often feel discouraged and upset when I read these pieces. Why? I tried a

After Winter Comes Spring What can a trauma survivor do when the pain of past trauma resurfaces and nothing works to make it better? As a trauma therapist, I deploy a comprehensive therapy routine that addresses all aspects of wellness: cognitive, emotional, physical, spiritual and social. But there are times when even such a comprehensive approach isn’t enough to lift a survivor above the pain of the trauma aftermath. What then? Sources 0f Pain Let’s begin by reviewing commo

Mindfulness and Mindlessness After Trauma One of the most dismaying results of trauma is that it often takes away from survivors things that are precious to them that have no apparent connection to the original event.  I learned much more about this than I would wish for anyone in the long, hard desert that entered my life after my brother died suddenly in his thirties nearly two decades ago. Up until that time, dance had been an important part of my life.  No matter how diff

While it is a source of pain, it also may be a resource for healing. Trauma deeply challenges the confidence of most survivors in themselves and their ability to create a meaningful life.  So reclaiming personal resources is an important and difficult challenge in moving on from trauma. Everybody has resources In my last blog I wrote that the mere fact that a trauma survivor is alive is evidence of resourcefulness.  It is true of course that trauma causes pain and harm that c

Expand your perspective on resilience and post-traumatic growth. There is a lot being written these days on post-traumatic growth (PTG) and resilience. As a trauma therapist and scholar on responses, I follow these with Google alerts and at least once a week get a batch of new ones. Typically, they describe resilience as a “process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy…” and post-traumatic growth as “positive change experienced as a result of the struggle

A framework for building secure attunement. Trauma therapists inevitably work with children and adults suffering from developmental trauma.  The effects of this can be devastating. (See this description by a parent of adopted children suffering from early childhood trauma.) Working with developmental trauma requires a different framework of treatment than work with trauma experienced later in life. Unfortunately, not all therapists appear to be up-to-date with current researc

Choose a trauma therapy approach and not a modality. Every week I am contacted by people from around the world desperate to find help. They’ve tried many things with no lasting relief. Most do not have good information about trauma. Most are so overwhelmed with stress and pain that they struggle even to make the effort to find a therapist. I write this post to those in who are in such a place, trying to figure out how to get the help you need after trauma. I spent a decade in

I am an immigrant. Married for over 10 years to an American husband, I am a therapist, teacher, trainer, and blogger. You might think that I’d feel confident in my place in America. Truthfully, I am deeply frightened, worried that somehow my still incomplete process of naturalization will be blocked and I’ll be deported. I should be silent and challenge nothing right now. They are deporting so many. What if they come for me?  Fear often wakes me in the night and holds me slee

Therapists are often contacted by people who have recently experienced a “critical incident”.   Accidents, crime, violence, death, illness, injury, and natural disaster are part of life everywhere.  If caregivers are well-informed about the do’s and don’ts of responding to trauma, they can help reduce the consequences of such incidents for survivors,  and perhaps mitigate the likelihood of developing PTSD. Often those who approach a therapist for help after critical incidents

Life has landed you in the community of trauma survivors.   None of us is here by choice, but we do choose to support each other. From my heart, here are things I wish I had known when I was 17. In 1991 I was 17. I was sleeping at home with my family in Tel Aviv on the night of January 17. At 1am a loud siren woke us up.  We knew what it meant.  We also knew what we must now do.  I ran shaking and crying with my family to our “safe room” where we bolted the door and sealed it

Emotions, Feelings, Sensations, and Self-Regulation Self-regulation is the ability to manage extreme emotions (positive or negative affect*), sensations and thoughts. Self-regulation is essential to trauma therapy, for virtually all survivors deal with ongoing emotional reactions to things that remind them of the past (triggers and secondary alerts) and with the increased vulnerability to stress that usually follows trauma. These reactions can be so strong that survivors expe

For therapists working with clients with complex or developmental trauma, advances of the last decade in understandings of attachment theory and early childhood development have important implications. Guided by these insights, a therapist can develop a strategy of treatment that more accurately addresses the symptoms and underlying needs of a client. Without them, a lot of time, effort, and resources can be wasted. From Attachment to Regulation Theory An important advance

Not enough adults understand how trauma silently handicaps some children in day-to-day functioning that appears to have nothing to do with trauma. As an adult who struggled in childhood with the aftermath of trauma, I want to help others understand what might be going on with traumatized children and what you should know about it. The consequences of trauma are many, for both adults and children. Recent articles, blogs and online discussions demonstrate rapidly growing awar